The January resolution begins - Fitness / finish resolution

Hello and welcome to my new blog on fitness journeys and resolutions. It is apparent that the last year has been very unhealthy for me, but finally the migraines appear to be better managed with medication and that means I can hopefully have the energy to begin my jogging again. In 2019 I managed to shift 2 stone, and I sadly believe I have popped most of this back on - to say I am disappointed is an understatement, but my body really feels it too. The dodgy knee pain is coming back with a vengeance, my back is causing me massive trouble and I desperately need a proper sports massage, but cannot.

So to make me more accountable and to hopefully inspire others I will be blogging my fitness posts along with my resolution for this year. I normally always break these, so this year, it is just to try and become a little fitter and lose some weight (no specifics) although to meet that 7.5 stone goal would be awesome although likely not achievable. My 2nd resolution is just to finish off as many jobs as possible - I have recognised that I am a starter - Time is not always on my side making certain jobs difficult to finish. Starting my own craft company is lovely and the idea when I finally get it going properly will be wonderful for me. For now I concentrate on learning new skills and understanding what I can and cannot create whilst I wait for the children to grow and thrive. The challenge for me is I have been lucky enough to be taught so many crafts that I want to finally utilize those skills. So with that in mind I will look to finish as many of the started projects as I can which will allow me to expand my portfolio, mainly for commission based items - such as what can I do with all of these clothing items from my loved one that has sadly passed away? I have all of my late hubbies items and his mum's. The idea being to make items for the children - and me. I am looking forward to making and finishing these projects, but also, hoping my brain will feel a little less foggy once items are completed. I also have all of my children's clothes which I want to make keepsakes with too. Please note that any commission items will always come first. I am a business after all, so any purchases / commission pieces will always be honoured over this.

**Trigger warning** I also mentioned that the 7.5 stone goal is my ideal. It is created from when physically I felt at my best and healthiest, however, my late hubby used to call me a waif and he believed I was too skinny - I was 24" round my waist and 34" bust and hips - the perfect 10 they call it, and nearly a size zero - all be it unintentional. Therefore with this in mind, my goal is 8.5 stone, with the review at that weight to see how I feel and physically if it is healthy for me to lose more. I can admit now in my teens / 20's I had issues with weight and undereating / binging for years which Mal helped me through - so I am very aware I need to be cautious. Although I would never class myself as anorexic or bulimic at the time - I luckily never had the dedication to become severe - I am aware that I was on a fine line to being dangerously unhealthy. I remember starving myself frequently for a week at a time and even bought medication that I know I have an allergy too to purposefully take to aid losing weight - BUT, thankfully I have nearly always managed to keep a level head and I never took the tablets whilst seeking help. If you ever feel overwhelmed by anything - please do seek support from a loved one or GP - you can even self refer for counselling now. Please do not suffer alone - my hubby didn't understand me, but he was the most supportive person and helped me through some really tough times - I was lucky and not everyone has that person.

So knowing what I can be like - and knowing I won't be like that again - after all - I have two children and they are now my rock - they don't realize it, but when you have two children reliant on you - you can get through anything life throws at you. I am determined to fight the migraines and to lose the weight - I must stay healthy - they need me.

So today - well yesterday 04.01.21 I began the road to being fit again - I was desperate to get out despite the manky weather - it was blustery although not too cold - the perfect weather for an asthmatic to run in!!!! - Okay no it was awful - blustery weather means I can't regulate my breathing - I was going to wear my mask, but I locked it in the Shepherds Hut and I can't open the door - my neighbour had popped to town, so that wasn't going to work, but wearing a mask and jogging / running doesn't work anyway for me - so I went without.

The blustery weather felt like it was blowing away the cobwebs and as I began the app for the Couch to 5k I once again chose the wonderful Michael Johnson - he is rather scary and tells me what I have to do - making sure I am on my toes - he barks his orders out and makes me believe I can do this - I really can't. I shout at him - I can't Michael, but I do it, because he says I can! I wanted to give up on this so many times - bearing in mind that at the point of migraines taking over my life around June 2019 I could run for 28 mins!!!! in one go - now I can barley run for 60 seconds again. My fat, clearly causing me issues, I could feel it everywhere - so sorry, but I am trying to be truthful here. It defiantly caused me a hinderance. I aim to use my Wii machine to monitor the fluctuations once a week again - fingers crossed this drastic weight gain - partly due to my tablets (a real side affect), but mostly from eating all the wrong foods. I am still feeling terribly sorry for myself. I hate having to be wheat free - it causes me so many issues. I will get passed this and have now not intentionally eaten wheat for 1 whole year now (well accept for the one sandwich)!! I am very chuffed, with myself, but I do not eat well because of it, lunches are my worst. This will be an aim although not a resolution.

So somehow, I made it around on the first session of the week one of the couch to 5k app. But a word of warning - I really feel there should be a version for those with health issues - I personally feel this app goes too fast too quickly. I really struggled. I somehow kept the asthma at bay, but my knee pain was kicking in fast. My issues are nothing compared to others, so make sure you keep to your own limits and if it is too much, slow it down, feel happy to repeat the weeks if needed - I will. If I am not ready to move on, I won't. When I used it last time, I reached a point where it was just too much for me. I am not sure if there is another app that can be used instead, but just take it carefully whatever you chose.

So, I have no idea what my weight is yet, I haven't wanted to set it up to check! - watching the little Mii character suddenly balloon - but it is what it is, I will update you soon. It is frustrating just as I start my endeavour, we are popped back into lockdown - so we will see what happens. Fingers crossed Alex will come out with me so I can continue.

The pictures show the lovely weather, the area I run on (the hill) and my house, you may just see my daughter swinging - play spot the difference - she is there (kind of) - a necessity whatever the weather to keep her sensory issues under control and meltdowns at bay - she is in the rain as we speak! I also posted yesterday's lunch - manky crackers that I hate (Jacob's please make some wheat free ones!!!). Wensleydale with cranberries (my favourite), Austrian Smoked Cheese and a mature Red Leicester (I don't really like it, but it offers a change!)

So I will speak to you soon, the other posts will likely be shorter and just a quick heads up on how I am feeling and if anything is working. I do feel today like I achieved something yesterday. I can feel muscles waking up in my body that have been left to ooze and rot over the past year. Fingers crossed they will tone up soon and remove the fat that has overridden me.